Stuck on the Starting Line

Why some people will never come close to reaching their goals.

Ideas whirl around in your head — plans for a great new product, brainstorms for a thriving business, dreams for a better life. You talk about it non-stop and think about it even more. Maybe you even get a few of those ideas down on paper. The problem is, you get stuck on the starting line and never actually DO it.

Is it fear of failure that stands in your way, or just the opposite?

It seems odd that people would fear success, but it happens more often than you might imagine. If you’ve ever found yourself facing a long-term goal, stuck in a vortex of procrastination, you may be experiencing the fear of success. Countless psychologists have written on the subject trying to analyze the phenomenon, but what it boils down to is this: Success brings change; and change is scary.

Your subconscious has already thought through all the big and little changes that lie in store for you once you reach your goal. Have you? That’s the first step. Ask yourself: What will happen if I succeed? Give it some quality time and attention. Think of all the side effects, big and small, of reaching that goal.

Let’s take starting a new business, for example. Aside from checking off a major goal on your life’s To Do list, you may also find yourself without the peace of mind that comes from a regular paycheck and medical benefits. You get to be your own boss, but you also become responsible for other employees. You will finally get the chance to spend your time on a venture of your own choosing, but will that venture drain all your time away from other things you value like your family? Reaching for new things always requires give and take. The pros and cons take the form of practical, emotional, logistical, and physical changes.

Once you make a thorough list of all the possible outcomes, you may find that the negative outweighs the positive. This realization could either cause you to drop the goal and move in another direction, or deal with the negatives and move forward. If letting go of that goal seems the wisest course of action, don’t necessarily consider that failure. It may be the smartest thing you ever do. It takes courage to dig deep, analyze all the angles, then make an informed decision to cut your losses. On the other hand, it also takes courage to stay the course.

If you decide to continue on with your goal, start by taking a good look at that list of negatives. While it’s healthy for you to focus on the positive side, your subconscious has been dwelling on the other column and is responsible for stopping you in your tracks without your knowledge or consent. The only way to move ahead is to deal with it head on. Once you realize that you don’t really fear success so much as the side effects that come with it, you can deal with each one on its own terms. Some you can identify and eliminate, some you can wrestle with and solve, others you may just have to live with, but once you’ve faced them, they lose their hold.

Left unchecked, fear of those side effects of success can cripple you. You have already experienced how it can stop you from making progress toward your goal, but it can also impact other areas of your life as well. It’s classic behavioral conditioning. Avoiding things you fear reinforces that behavior and avoidance runs rampant through your life masked as procrastination or busyness. On the flip side, fears tend to shrink under scrutiny. Once identified and faced, they appear smaller, more manageable, and suddenly surmountable. Sometimes they disappear altogether.

Before you go headlong into your next diet, business venture, or life goal visualize the end results. Literally close your eyes and see yourself at the finish line. What has changed? What did you sacrifice? What makes you uncomfortable? What scares you? The process is not only enlightening; it is invaluable to your ability to achieve success. Once you deal with every aspect of reaching your goal, you can go for it with no reservations and no fear of success.

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